Rewind. My head hurts.

Until very recently I believe I have been suffering from undiagnosed depression.
This might be true. Most likely it is. But I don't want it to be.
How could I have had depression?
My perception of depression is constant tears and on the edge of suicide- was that really me.
Did that actually happen to me or is this some distorted idea my mind has created -doubtful.

It wasn't me.

I'm not that person anymore.
I'm a work in process and the depression was a process.
It made me who I am today but it's not me.
The person I was yesterday is not necessarily who I am today, who I am to one person is definately not who I am to another. Follow me- no me neither.

Is anyone one person?

Rewind. My head hurts.
So the previous me, the me I've been for the past two years had depression.
In reflection all I feel in sadness.
And waste.
So much waste.
Now I'm different. Its not depression I have just a prolonged sense of restlessness- a very prolonged sense.
In my mind I'm in exile or I'm a prisoner serving time for a crime I had no knowledge of. I've nearly done my time.
Its a daunting prospect. I've got so many plans and it only recently occurred to me that they may be too big, too drastic.
But I'm not like them. I'm not going to accept things for what they are and just get along with it.
I want to live not survive.
I never did understand everyone else.
How can they do nothing?
What kind of people don't try to make the world a better place?